This is TMI (too much information) but few people/if any are reading right now. I'm going to be using this blog as a journal and print it later. Kill two birds with one stone, right? Pros and Cons of this year's experience:
Pro
GIFTS!!!! TIME, MONEY, WORK, THOUGHT, VISITS,
...such as.... Caleb was given clothing clear through 2T. So many have helped take care of the children and myself staying many nights. Help building our basement for another bedroom/space. People learned medications/my illness to take care of me. People visited me from afar i.e. Washington, Texas and California. I was given so many cards I filled my hallway with them. People have given me food.
Micah was accepted to work at a huge corporation which offered a good health care, so our own home payments toward healthcare have been decent enough.
I've not been overcome with outer flu/virus
When my mind was erased after surgery, I feel like I became a child again. I had a reset button on life. Good and bad ways to look at this. I had my temper tantrums, and thinking about me's most of the *time. I'd also forgotten how to read and how to take care of a baby or love one like a mama. But this helped me to grow up again. I get to analyze life, especially not knowing how much longer it stays (1-25 years?) So every day, I ask myself "what do I want today". A bucket list is I use for fun things
Odd: I didn't understand the fatherhead very well. We often call Jesus the Christ, Father. So I got mixed up. When I prayed, I felt like praying to Jesus. But I now feel FATHER in heaven very well. I love praying to Him through Jesus. I also know there are angels. frequency of their presence? I wish I knew. But when I was slow, and needed much help, I had much help from the other side. I never saw any one. But I knew my ancestors were nudging me along.
*Mother has lived with me for this year. And is now buying a house in Utah. So Ma and Pa were away from each other so that was difficult and helped their love grow closer. Mom's work is hard taking care of us, moving, emotional. But doors are opening, and I watch her dedication.
*Brown parents on a Mission in New Zealand. Oh how we miss them, but it's good.
Cons
constant headaches, that were really bad and I got addicted to a narcotic. But livable now.
Memory loss during the last year, but slowly coming back with triggers.
seizure continue if I get too fatigued. But I'm learning my fatigue levels. Which are unfortunately high.
There was a season I didn't want my children, never.
There was a season of constant numbness and tingles. My feet felt 50 feet away from my body. Thought I could walk but crashed everywhere.
*Could not raise children bet my children let anyone help and teach them.
I was so sensitive to light (only to a degree now) and sound my house had to be a cave. How to do that with children?
Still not allowed to drive, tear...
relearned to read, piano, talk, and hopefully nursing
fear of showering and sleeping in bed, and leaving the house
So many medications and changing them and not understanding them
*Micah who has done EVERYTHING I've had to relearn to love
*Pro and Con
3 comments:
I'm still reading! You can't get rid of me that easily. Ha! :)
Because you're one of my favorite families in the universe. In fact, I was just talking to someone last night about you and how cool you were for using your new beginnings with so much class. And it made me cry just to see your pictures because I know the kinds of trials your family has had this year. We have been praying for and loving your family from afar. I'm so thankful that things are curving up.
My dear Becky.....you are amazing!
"Oh the places You'll Go"
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Love you on so many levels!!!!
Post a Comment